George Carlin New Year Quotes

Found 2520 results: George Carlin New Year Quotes

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

George Sand

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

George Carlin

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

George Bernard Shaw

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

George Carlin

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

George Carlin

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

George Carlin

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

George Carlin

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

George Carlin

Always do whatever's next.

George Carlin

The status quo sucks.

George Carlin

Its never just a game when you're winning.

George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

George Carlin

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

George Carlin
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