Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob HopeYou know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob HopeIf you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob HopeA bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob HopeBigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bob HopeMiddle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob HopeI like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob HopeWhen we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob HopeI have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob HopeA James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob HopeI've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bob HopePeople who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob HopeI don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
Bob HopeThe good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob HopeMy father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
Bob HopeWhen she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob HopeShe said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob HopeMiddle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
Bob HopeI have to much money invested in sweaters.
Bob HopeThe only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Bob HopeNo one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
Bob HopeI don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
Bob HopeA sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob HopeI love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope
